Absinthe At Spiegelworld Miami Beach - you will never forgive yourself if you miss this!

The Spiegel Tent will only be up for another couple of weeks at 23rd and Collins, make sure you see it before it's too late!

Happy Birthday New Times!

Its been 20 year of dining reviews, nightclub listings, local features and more strange personnals than you can shake a leather whip at. We here at the A3 Network just want to say congrats to the team at the Miami New Times!

Could this mean the end of house parties in Miami Beach? MAYBE NOT IF YOU SHOW UP TO CITY HALL TOMORROW (JAN 24TH) AT 6PM!!!

Miami Beach Ordinance To Strip Homeowners of Property Rights

On Wednesday January 16, 2008, the City of Miami Beach passed on first reading a sweeping and draconian zoning regulation which will ban many social gatherings and simple business transactions in private homes. If you’re caught throwing a baby shower or a birthday party, or if during your spring cleaning you sell four modest items in your house on E-Bay, you will be fined over $42,000.00 – and it can’t be waived by the special master for any reason.
Entitled “Commercial Use of Single Family Homes Prohibited”, the ordinance contains several alarming restrictions on the use of homes. For example, section 1(c)(1)(b) of the Ordinance prohibits the sale of “goods, property or services” exceeding $100 “offered for sale on or at the property”. This provision makes it illegal for:
• Miami Beach residents to sell their old bicycles, cars, furniture, computers or other unused property through classified ads or on Ebay.
• Professionals such as attorneys to work from their homes.
• To sell Tupperware, Avon cosmetics or other perform other direct marketing.

Likewise, the ordinance prohibits a homeowner from receiving “payment or other consideration… in excess of $100.00 per party or event for the use of the property.” As a result it will now be an illegal “commercial use” for:

• Five friends to plan a SuperBowl party where each chips in $25.00 to cover the cost of refreshments.
• Any resident to have a social gathering, such as a birthday party or wedding shower where the host receives more than $100 in gifts.
• Houseguests to reimburse their host for food or cleaning costs greater than $100.00.
• A resident to allow their home to be used for a relative’s wedding, graduation party or other gathering, if the owner receives any compensation in excess of $100.00 to cover costs associated with the gathering.
• A charity to provide any compensation to a homeowner for the use of a home for fundraising or education purposes.

“Every person in this city should ask their commissioner ‘how will the city know which gatherings are commercial’? This ordinance is going to be enforced by Code Inspectors peering through windows. No one likes noise or parking impacts- but those should be addressed by the noise Ordinance.”

Further, the ordinance indicates that any Code Compliance Officer may shut down a gathering without due process of law. This is going to be a field day for First Amendment attorneys. The City has mistakenly shut down non-commercial parties in the past, and they know they will again. When the City shuts down your wedding without cause, that’s a costly tragedy for which you should be compensated. When they mistakenly shut down your political gathering, that’s a constitutional quagmire.”

Another aspect of the ordinance would make it illegal to host an open house for the purposes of selling homes after 8:00 PM. This is going to have a huge impact on home sales, transaction times and prices at a time where homes are already selling slowly.

DO SOMETHING: Cut a past a copy of this letter or one of your own and email the Miami Beach City Comission!!!!!

Dear Commissioner,

I am a Miami Beach resident and am concerned about the ordinance that you are considering enacting into law in February.

I agree with you that noise, garbage, and parking issues that may be associated with parties are bad. However, there are existing laws on the books that address these concerns.

I am in favor of allowing homeowners to have private, invite only parties within their homes. Please DO NOT interfere will my rights as a resident to entertain within my home! I trust that you will make the right decision and not turn Miami Beach into a boarded up retirement community.


Please, maintain the spirit of Miami Beach.

Thanks for your consideration.

THE NEXT READING OF THE ORDINANCE IS THURSDAY JANUARY 24th AT 6PM MIAMI BEACH CITY HALL - IF YOU WANT TO PREVENT

Has Science Found A Way To Make DJing Obsolete?

A group of researchers from UCLA have devised a software system that polls Wifi enabled digital music devices of attandees at a party (who actually bring theirs) and creates a playlist based on the most popular tracks and genres.

Read the full story by Clicking HERE

Could these "SMART PARTIES" spell the end of massive superclubs paying exhorbitant amounts of money to globetrotting DJ's?

Um....no, definetly not.

Tip To Be A VIP: The Bodyguard Trick

Nothing says VIP like having your own bodyguard...and although most of us either don't need nor can afford a real body guard, it certainly gets people (especially the ladies) asking the question: "Who is that guy?"

So here is a great way to influence shallow people.....get your LARGEST friend and ask him to dress up in his best suit and play your bodyguard for the evening. Sunglasses and a possible fake "earpiece" add to the mistique. Get yourself on the list of a high end cocktail party with an open bar (Avoid clubs if you can because of the need to proove your "VIP-ness" by spending money on a table).

Make sure to rehearse with your "bodyguard" certain very important things...

When you're in the party have him approach women for you. "Excuse me ladies, my name is (insert interesting bodyguard name here IE: Olaf), I am the personnal security of Mr. Cox and he would like to invite you all to join him in a cocktail.

***Remember***

STAY MYSTERIOUS - The more mysterious the better, when the girls ask who he is and why he needs a bodyguard simply have your guy reply "I'm sorry but I'm not at liberty to say. (or words to this effect)"

.....nothing will peak the curiosity of those girls more than trying to figure out who you are and what you do......you can keep them hooked all night long.

And don't worry about your bouncer, as long as he gets a few girls at once, he will have plenty of oportunity to hit on the left-overs.

Club Stereotypes: The Wallflower

Photo By Seth - Red Eye Productions

Standing at whatever table she finds with a bottle to suckle from, she is as much of an accessory as an imitation Coach bag. Often but not always a model, wallflowers are rarely found dancing but sometimes slightly gyrating a good half-beat off throwing sideways bourgeois glances like knives. Typically clad in something skimpy, she is the ultimate eye candy, as beautiful as Michelangelo's Venus, equally as interesting, just as intelligent.
Typically found at A-list venues like SET and MOKAI, this species of clubber is always taken care of.

Rarely do they leave an area less than five feet around the parameter of the table they have latched themselves on to (unless going to the bathroom of course)the Wallflower rarely speaks unless spoken to or handed a glass of champagne.

The 6 Turntable Mix!

DJ Set Tutorial: Mixing 6 Turntables
Uploaded by DJTutor

THE MARTINI CONSPIRACY: Another Buster Theory

There is wild speculation about the history of the Martini and in point of fact it seems the actual origins of the drink are shrouded in the annals of time. Some say it was invented in Martinez, California when a bartender mixed a drink for a visiting miner who placed an olive in the glass before handing it to him and named it after his town. Still another story says the name came from the Martini & Henry rifle used by the British in 1871, the hook being that both the rifle and the drink "had a kick."

Personally, I'm not a Martini drinker, so I really don't give a crap about who invented the drink. What I do give a crap about is who the asshole is who came up with the actual glass the Martini is traditionally served in.....moreover due to it's completly illogical and innefficient design, I beleive the vessel to be a conspiracy by bar and club owners leading all the way back to the early 1900's.

Here's My Theory: Logical thinking would pre-suppose that a vessel created to hold a liquid would need to do so efficiently without spillage. The Martini glass is possibly the most innefficient design for holding liquid possible. As we all know, you cannot walk around a party with a full Martini glass, knowing that if you did you would end up with more on the floor than down your throat. Therefore, the glass is inherently designed for you to remain at the bar while you drink it leving you in the perfect position to order another as soon as the last drops are gone. If you do decide to chance it and cruise for babes, then through spillage, the glass becomes empty just as quickly and a new drink is needed to be purchased.

This completly inneficient design lends itself to high turnover and my beleif is that the Martini Glass in and of itself began as a conspiracy by bars owners to sell more drinks.

My tip: next time you ask for a Martini.....ask for it to be served in a wine glass. You may look like an asshole, but you'll be better off in the end.

TODAY IS JANUARY 14th!

YOU ARE NO LONGER ALLOWED TO SAY "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!

Consider yourself informed.

The Cameo Flood - South Beach Venue Busts A Pipe

Photo By Dan Vidal

Last Sunday morning around 3:30am, while DJ Robbie Rivera was destroying the main room of Cameo on South Beach, one of the guests in the VIP section behind the DJ booth thought it was a good idea to hang from one of the pipes above his table.

The pipe didn't think so and soon burst flooding the VIP section and dancefloor below.

"The Water was everywhere and everyone ran to the other side of the stage." said Robbie from his Miami studio. "The bouncers handled everything very professionally and the music had to be turned off for about :30 seconds. It was a buzz killer, big time....but still an amazing night!"

IN THEIR WORDS......The Ibiza After Hours Closings - Ben Turner

BEN TURNER FROM GRAPHITE MEDIA & EDITOR OF BOTH PACHA & SOHO HOUSE'S HOUSE MAGAZINE.

"Club culture in the late 1980s in the UK was once
all about illegal partying, and the government implemented laws to restrict
them happening. This decision is the reverse. Legal clubs operating after
6am are now being forced to close, which will in return become a headache as
more and more illegal events will now happen. You simply can't stop the fact
that people go clubbing very late in Ibiza (2-3am) and like to go to bed
much later than 6am - indeed simply cqn't go to bed at 6am. Last summer,
despite Amnesia being closed by the police at the start of the season, some
of the best ever Cocoon after-hours parties occurred, posing a bigger job
for the authorities to deal with and police. I fully agree that the traffic
flashpoints for parents and workers with revellers is a situation to be
avoided, but this decision will not make much difference to this problem.
What could happen is that more and more people are switched off from even
going to Ibiza, which is where the decision will bite the government the
hardest. It does appeaer that the Ibiza government do noT want partygoers to
even go to the island - anybody reading this blog is intelligent enough to
know that dance culture is the reason the island is so famous, and there is
so much good that comes from that. As Miami itself can testify."

Tip To BE A VIP - The Media Game

Photo By Seth - Red Eye Productions

Feed into the insatiable apetite any image driven business has for press by calling every hot nightclub, restaurant, magazine and PR agency in town. Tell them you are in the media.....any media really.

Here is a Typical Script For The Way I DO It...

"Yes hi this is Buster from the Wealthy Young Jewish Americans With Psoriases Monthly, we feature the high end lifestyle of young wealthy Jewish Americans with psoriasis and we would like to include your events in our calender section and possibly send a photographer to cover them. Can you please make sure we are on your media list? My email is BUSTER AT KOSHER FLAKES DOT COM.
Yes.......thanks.........whats that? Well a topical cream is really the best thing. Sure, lachiem to you too....."

.....there you have it, now I'll be sent invitations to RSVP for all their events!