Tuesday, January 15, 2008


There is wild speculation about the history of the Martini and in point of fact it seems the actual origins of the drink are shrouded in the annals of time. Some say it was invented in Martinez, California when a bartender mixed a drink for a visiting miner who placed an olive in the glass before handing it to him and named it after his town. Still another story says the name came from the Martini & Henry rifle used by the British in 1871, the hook being that both the rifle and the drink "had a kick."

Personally, I'm not a Martini drinker, so I really don't give a crap about who invented the drink. What I do give a crap about is who the asshole is who came up with the actual glass the Martini is traditionally served in.....moreover due to it's completly illogical and innefficient design, I beleive the vessel to be a conspiracy by bar and club owners leading all the way back to the early 1900's.

Here's My Theory: Logical thinking would pre-suppose that a vessel created to hold a liquid would need to do so efficiently without spillage. The Martini glass is possibly the most innefficient design for holding liquid possible. As we all know, you cannot walk around a party with a full Martini glass, knowing that if you did you would end up with more on the floor than down your throat. Therefore, the glass is inherently designed for you to remain at the bar while you drink it leving you in the perfect position to order another as soon as the last drops are gone. If you do decide to chance it and cruise for babes, then through spillage, the glass becomes empty just as quickly and a new drink is needed to be purchased.

This completly inneficient design lends itself to high turnover and my beleif is that the Martini Glass in and of itself began as a conspiracy by bars owners to sell more drinks.

My tip: next time you ask for a Martini.....ask for it to be served in a wine glass. You may look like an asshole, but you'll be better off in the end.

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