Buster Does A Lap At Clearchannel HQ

Ok, so I had been wanting to do it since my first day at Y100.....

Could this mean the end of house parties in Miami Beach? MAYBE NOT IF YOU SHOW UP TO CITY HALL TOMORROW (JAN 24TH) AT 6PM!!!

Miami Beach Ordinance To Strip Homeowners of Property Rights

On Wednesday January 16, 2008, the City of Miami Beach passed on first reading a sweeping and draconian zoning regulation which will ban many social gatherings and simple business transactions in private homes. If you’re caught throwing a baby shower or a birthday party, or if during your spring cleaning you sell four modest items in your house on E-Bay, you will be fined over $42,000.00 – and it can’t be waived by the special master for any reason.
Entitled “Commercial Use of Single Family Homes Prohibited”, the ordinance contains several alarming restrictions on the use of homes. For example, section 1(c)(1)(b) of the Ordinance prohibits the sale of “goods, property or services” exceeding $100 “offered for sale on or at the property”. This provision makes it illegal for:
• Miami Beach residents to sell their old bicycles, cars, furniture, computers or other unused property through classified ads or on Ebay.
• Professionals such as attorneys to work from their homes.
• To sell Tupperware, Avon cosmetics or other perform other direct marketing.

Likewise, the ordinance prohibits a homeowner from receiving “payment or other consideration… in excess of $100.00 per party or event for the use of the property.” As a result it will now be an illegal “commercial use” for:

• Five friends to plan a SuperBowl party where each chips in $25.00 to cover the cost of refreshments.
• Any resident to have a social gathering, such as a birthday party or wedding shower where the host receives more than $100 in gifts.
• Houseguests to reimburse their host for food or cleaning costs greater than $100.00.
• A resident to allow their home to be used for a relative’s wedding, graduation party or other gathering, if the owner receives any compensation in excess of $100.00 to cover costs associated with the gathering.
• A charity to provide any compensation to a homeowner for the use of a home for fundraising or education purposes.

“Every person in this city should ask their commissioner ‘how will the city know which gatherings are commercial’? This ordinance is going to be enforced by Code Inspectors peering through windows. No one likes noise or parking impacts- but those should be addressed by the noise Ordinance.”

Further, the ordinance indicates that any Code Compliance Officer may shut down a gathering without due process of law. This is going to be a field day for First Amendment attorneys. The City has mistakenly shut down non-commercial parties in the past, and they know they will again. When the City shuts down your wedding without cause, that’s a costly tragedy for which you should be compensated. When they mistakenly shut down your political gathering, that’s a constitutional quagmire.”

Another aspect of the ordinance would make it illegal to host an open house for the purposes of selling homes after 8:00 PM. This is going to have a huge impact on home sales, transaction times and prices at a time where homes are already selling slowly.

DO SOMETHING: Cut a past a copy of this letter or one of your own and email the Miami Beach City Comission!!!!!

Dear Commissioner,

I am a Miami Beach resident and am concerned about the ordinance that you are considering enacting into law in February.

I agree with you that noise, garbage, and parking issues that may be associated with parties are bad. However, there are existing laws on the books that address these concerns.

I am in favor of allowing homeowners to have private, invite only parties within their homes. Please DO NOT interfere will my rights as a resident to entertain within my home! I trust that you will make the right decision and not turn Miami Beach into a boarded up retirement community.


Please, maintain the spirit of Miami Beach.

Thanks for your consideration.

THE NEXT READING OF THE ORDINANCE IS THURSDAY JANUARY 24th AT 6PM MIAMI BEACH CITY HALL - IF YOU WANT TO PREVENT

THE MARTINI CONSPIRACY: Another Buster Theory

There is wild speculation about the history of the Martini and in point of fact it seems the actual origins of the drink are shrouded in the annals of time. Some say it was invented in Martinez, California when a bartender mixed a drink for a visiting miner who placed an olive in the glass before handing it to him and named it after his town. Still another story says the name came from the Martini & Henry rifle used by the British in 1871, the hook being that both the rifle and the drink "had a kick."

Personally, I'm not a Martini drinker, so I really don't give a crap about who invented the drink. What I do give a crap about is who the asshole is who came up with the actual glass the Martini is traditionally served in.....moreover due to it's completly illogical and innefficient design, I beleive the vessel to be a conspiracy by bar and club owners leading all the way back to the early 1900's.

Here's My Theory: Logical thinking would pre-suppose that a vessel created to hold a liquid would need to do so efficiently without spillage. The Martini glass is possibly the most innefficient design for holding liquid possible. As we all know, you cannot walk around a party with a full Martini glass, knowing that if you did you would end up with more on the floor than down your throat. Therefore, the glass is inherently designed for you to remain at the bar while you drink it leving you in the perfect position to order another as soon as the last drops are gone. If you do decide to chance it and cruise for babes, then through spillage, the glass becomes empty just as quickly and a new drink is needed to be purchased.

This completly inneficient design lends itself to high turnover and my beleif is that the Martini Glass in and of itself began as a conspiracy by bars owners to sell more drinks.

My tip: next time you ask for a Martini.....ask for it to be served in a wine glass. You may look like an asshole, but you'll be better off in the end.

Tip To BE A VIP - The Media Game

Photo By Seth - Red Eye Productions

Feed into the insatiable apetite any image driven business has for press by calling every hot nightclub, restaurant, magazine and PR agency in town. Tell them you are in the media.....any media really.

Here is a Typical Script For The Way I DO It...

"Yes hi this is Buster from the Wealthy Young Jewish Americans With Psoriases Monthly, we feature the high end lifestyle of young wealthy Jewish Americans with psoriasis and we would like to include your events in our calender section and possibly send a photographer to cover them. Can you please make sure we are on your media list? My email is BUSTER AT KOSHER FLAKES DOT COM.
Yes.......thanks.........whats that? Well a topical cream is really the best thing. Sure, lachiem to you too....."

.....there you have it, now I'll be sent invitations to RSVP for all their events!